Mark Twain quotes

[Tom Araya]

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

There is no distincly native American criminal classs, save Congress.

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.



Twain said these things 125 years ago. Might as well have said them yesterday. Add your own favorite Twain quotes. . .

[Nineballman]

Be good and you will be lonesome

[RP-in-Nebraska]

Mr. Clemens was largely pessimistic about the human race but he did have a bright side as shown in the quotes below.

"Always do right. That will gratify some of the people, and astonish the rest."

"Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

"When in doubt, tell the truth."

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."

[Tom Araya]

Good ones, RP!

Twain was largely pessimistic about the Gilded Age marriage of politics & business. You should read this week's Time magazine articles about Teddy Roosevelt, the first president to begin to undo the damage wrought by this bit of late 19th century American fascism. He took on J.P. Morgan & won, thus setting in motion some of the great social programs of the 20th Century. Then Reagan came along & started undoing all of the gains of the previous 80 years, and now were stuck with this madman Shrub who is hell-bent on setting the controls for the heart of the sun in 1/10th the time it took to build things like the National Park Service, the interstate highway system, the great gains in pollution controls, the 40 hour work week, overtime pay, OSHA, etc. etc. etc. etc. If Shrub has his way, EVERYTHING will be privatized. Then, guys like you & Fudge will get your wish & will be responsible for paving the road in front of your house, paying tuition for your kids to attend private schools, setting up your own little personal armies of defense, etc. In short, we'll return to the libertarian utopia----medieval serfdom!!!! I, for one, can hardly wait!

[RP-in-Nebraska]

Then, guys like you & Fudge will get your wish & will be responsible for paving the road in front of your house,

I think my $10,000 or so annual federal taxes given back to me should cover this.

paying tuition for your kids to attend private schools

Then I'd be $3300 (annual property taxes) ahead since I am paying for a private education currently (sort of - paying for private pre-school currently - debating on private elementary school in the future).

setting up your own little personal armies of defense,

Fudge and I don't need armies. We are each an army of one!

:smt004

[Tom Araya]

Good luck with police protection, fire protection, ambulance service----some things are better done collectively!!!!

[MG_Grievous]

Hooters, hooters.......yum yum yum.

Hooters, hooters.....on a girl that's dumb.

[Denmom]

I don't think they had Hooters resturants back in the Mark Twain days MG. But good try!! :roll:

[MG_Grievous]

I don't think they had Hooters resturants back in the Mark Twain days MG. But good try!! :roll:

You're still upset about that? (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/mg_grievous/hooters.jpg)

[oldtimer]

I don't think they had Hooters resturants back in the Mark Twain days MG. But good try!! :roll:

Yes they did!

It just went by a different name.....Is read it in an old Hannibal Missouri publication. I think it was "Miss Hanna's Hot Hannibal Hogs".

[RP-in-Nebraska]

Good luck with police protection, fire protection, ambulance service----some things are better done collectively!!!!

I agree to a certain extent. However, it just gets back to how much government is enough government. With too much government intervention, the law of diminishing returns takes over and suddenly the government violates the "No taxation without representation" theory.

[Leroy Jenkins]

"Always keep a hundred hundreds in a safe deposit box"

-Jim Craig